We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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