Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
