mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
