Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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