My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
