Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
