why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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