I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
