The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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