You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
