90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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