Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
