Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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