Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
