Who did Billy Mays play for?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
