With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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