bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
