Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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