Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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