he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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