But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
