The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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