I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
