my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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