Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
