is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
