yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize