Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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