well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
