Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
