She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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