i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
