it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
