Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
