Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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