Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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