btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And then my night got REAL pukey
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
