He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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