He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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