I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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