the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
