Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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