This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
