How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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