In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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