Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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