yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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