Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it was like eating out sand paper
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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