I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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