there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
