Your face is a jimmy john
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
