They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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