I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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