I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
