yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
