I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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