I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
