That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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