I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize