Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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