why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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