God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
