Its about making memories worth repressing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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